Would you die for your spouse?
I would.
Would you pick up your socks?
Hey now, let’s not go crazy with our expectations.
When we watch TV, or movies or read novels, the climax of
the story always ends with the hero(ine) doing some dramatic, romantic gesture
to win the heart of their beloved. Even
knowing that it is just fiction, seeing this scenario acted out on screen over
and over again for our entire lives has to affect our way of thinking
and expectations.
Reality is a little different. Don’t get me wrong, my wedding day was still
the best day of my life. But it passed
in a bit of a blur. I am finding that my
favorite moments with my wife are rarely the big romantic ones. The moment I knew when I wanted to marry
Amy? It wasn’t a walk along the beach or
at a fancy dinner. She was giggling and
laying down some smack talk on me after winning a board game in the living room
of my apartment.
When I pictured being married, I always pictured myself bringing
her flowers, cooking up a fancy dinner or other romantic acts. See the problem here? The main character of the movie playing in my
head was always myself. Over the last
year or so I have started to learn the joy that can be had in putting yourself
last. That building a relationship isn’t
just about flowers, but also about acting for someone else with no benefit
to you.
Romance is important.
But it is like paint. It looks
nice but it has no strength. I once went
used car shopping. I saw a nice car
that had been shined up so that it looked brand new. But when I touched the bottom of the door, my
hand went right through the panel. The
door was rusted right through and the only thing holding it together was the
paint.
So if romance isn’t enough to build a lasting relationship,
then what is? There are many things but I
suggest that part of the answer lies in the small acts of service we get to
perform for each other on a daily basis.
I learned this through watching my amazing wife. A glass of water, doing the dishes when it is
not your “turn” or rubbing tired shoulders are
the bricks laying the foundation of love and respect between a couple.
We can be ready to die for our spouses but they usually just
need us to take out the trash.
Sometimes love is dying for someone.
Sometimes love is just picking up your socks.
